MY LIFE IN PURDAH……..

My entire gay-world that exists within the minuscule scopes of gay chat rooms,,,gay porn,,,,,mails,,,,blogging and admiring men on the streets/ gyms/ media is from a purdah……a purdah that I have chosen to wear by choice……

It’s like wearing a mask all the time….and not wanting the other person to see who you are…….

I am beautiful under my purdah as well……not only to look at but also in my senses…..but unfortunately cannot reveal it…….

It is like you want to come out of it and have the sweet taste of freedom……but you can not!!!

I realized this when I was online on gay.com…….I am online on the India countrywide chat-room only….usually as I think there are many foreign people who do not understand this concept of being in the closet very well and sneer at you (my apologies to all the foreign readers for the generalization)…..but even the gay Indian population is not an exception……

I do refrain to chat with many people as they do expect only a meet-up for sex and a pic prior to that…..which I am unable to provide…….so there was a chap whose profile said that he is interested only in friendship…..and all I wanted was that as well…..so I buzzed him……and he was not ready to chat without a pic…….so do you want a mug shot of a guy to decide whether you want to be friends with him??? I can still understand if it is for sex and you have your preferences….but for friendship…. so if he is good-looking you would want to be friends with him and not otherwise??? (if he actually meant friendship)……

So that is what you get when you are in purdah....no friends as well!!!

And methinks….in the gay world there is a strong concept of *superficiality* amongst quite a few fellowmen…..probably a lot of things start with sex and quite a few end with sex as well……this purdah really really limits the field of your already limited vision……

There are numerous occasions when you think that had you not had the thick veil….you would have got a lot more in life and had a lot more fun as well….like the other day’s gym locker-room incident……but unfortunately……you cannot help it…….

I really hope to come out of it soon but don’t know when…..but what I really hope now is to lift it once in a while for some people to see once in a while…..let’s see how I progress on that one!!!
But…..Thank God….for the rest of my life is out of the purdah…..I cannot imagine the plight of those numerous poor women who live in purdah throughout their life….gay or straight!!!

Anyway….one of the few privileges I can enjoy…….gay porn……